What I wish I knew at 14: A note to my niece on her birthday

To a niece that’s funny, mischievous, kind and smart: I remember when you were two and loved to rearrange things. It was then that I started to notice your uniqueness and a fun optimism that life can be what you make it. I see so much hope and possibility in you. I want to share some thoughts that have come together for me over the years:

You’re arriving at an age that comes with a little more independence and fun. As you enjoy life  don’t forget your parents and what they’ve done for you. As you make decisions, respect them and make them proud.

Friends will truly come and go. Sometimes they come back in new and unexpected ways, sometimes the friendship is cut short sooner than you think. Sometimes you leave your friends and only realize later what you had. Life isn’t static- it pushes you forward over and over again into new territory and unexpected adventures.

Your heart will likely get broken. You may or may not see it coming, but its going to hurt like crazy. Just know that boy wasn’t right for you anyway, (or good enough to date my niece!) and that’s part of why it hurts.

Learn the Truth, how to tell it and what it looks like. It might resemble a person you respect or admire. It might look like someone you know that has walked faithfully with God and models the truth in their life. In a blog I follow, a wise grandfather gave this advice, which I’m sure we’ve all heard before but it bears repeating: learn what the real thing looks like so you can easily spot the counterfeit. If something is false- reject it. God offers truth and hope Always.

Being a girl is an adventure in itself (and not always fun!)  If your emotions aren’t making you feel crazy, other people certainly are. It does get easier. There are days your hopes or dreams might get knocked over by someone not playing nice. Know that everyone has had this happen- People aren’t always careful. You have to train your mind to think of the good and use the  hurtful stuff to learn and grow as a person.

Whenever you feel lonely, or sad, or without a friend, pray. I believe God provides the friends we need right when we need them, particularly when things change or we start a new adventure. Look around for the friends He has provided to help you through;  it’s easy to forget and take them for granted, but they are one of the greatest blessings in life.

I hope you know, no matter what, that you are treasured, cherished, loved, and set apart.

xo,

Aunt Steph

Pressing pause, sharing a simple poem

I recently stumbled upon a poem that made me hold my breath as I read it. It became balm on a wound the way only just the right words at the right time can. It’s for when all of our best attempts somehow land us two more steps behind, and for anyone juggling their life or trying to figure out how much busyness is just too much, kids or no kids.

A Poem for Someone Who is Juggling Her Life

This is a poem for someone
who is juggling her life.
Be still sometimes.
Be still sometimes.

It needs repeating
over and over
to catch her attention
over and over,
as someone who is juggling her life
finds it difficult to hear.

Be still sometimes.
Be still sometimes.
Let it all fall sometimes.

Rose Cook, from Notes From a Bright Field (Cultured Llama, 2013)

Something I’ve learned as I’ve pushed through life, trying to do everything I’m supposed to and keeping up with appearances, is that I am a body with a soul. This soul needs moments of reprieve and silence or it will begin to protest. It needs a break from the social media juggernaut that can fuel anxiety.

 

I’d love to hear what kinds of things cause you to push the pause button- what soothes your soul, brings you fresh perspective and grounds you? For me it’s a good poem. Take a minute to comment on things you’d be interested in reading or seeing on this blog.

 

Stephanie